There are quite a lot of people who find dreams interesting. When I say interesting, I mean that they find it quite fun to hear someone else’s dream; or they think it is at least worth wondering if dreams have any meaning. But when I say interesting, I also mean, that really it doesn’t matter to them at all – it engages them for a minute or so, like an article about a new form of sole on trainers that makes you run faster – in fact, that is probably more engaging – lots of people would love to be able to run fast – dreaming is a conversation topic, something to talk about until the next thing to talk about. Dreams don’t (seem to) matter to people – not like who they fancy or how much they are being paid. Those topics last longer than a minute, and are never met with a shrug.
Anyway, a) dreams are always so weird and b) no-one knows what they mean. And c) there is a significant body of opinion around “I shouldn’t have had cheese last night” and more recently “”Dreams are the result of random firings of neurons after a long hard day at the ego.”
And, it’s funny, I don’t want to write about them either, but my feeling comes from the other end of the spectrum, the “Oh my God” end: as though they have so much meaning, as though God has walked in the room – how can I say anything about Him? So this article may be full of scientific type arguments, but underneath the surface is my awe.
I suppose I would like you as reader to end up believing that dreams are fundamental, dreams express who we are, they are important.
I could quote Freud, “Dreams are the royal highway to the unconscious,” the long walk in Windsor Park up to the palace, the fanfare of bugles that will sound when King Charles is acclaimed king. But that does not help if you don’t really believe or care about an unconscious in the first place. Writing about dreams is like writing about miracles for a religious person. The feeding of the five thousand – people shared their picnics, there was no miracle? Jesus walking on the water – huh, as if that happened! Turning water into wine? Yeah, yeah, a story, probably written to mean something, but it didn’t actually happen. So if you distrust religion, or the idea of an unconscious, by and large, stories won’t convince you.
Starting with dreams is starting in the wrong place
That’s why I wanted to write about the unconscious to start with. The unconscious is so hard to believe in because of what it is: if it is un-conscious, we don’t know about it. If we don’t know about it, why should we believe anyone who wants to convince us it is there? Correct. It’s like a relationship, trust grows slowly. And if you don’t believe in the unconscious, then dreams probably are the random firings of blah blah.
So how do we meet the unconscious, or learn to believe in it (because this is meant to be about dreams and what they mean – but we can’t unless we believe they have a meaning – and unless there is a deep, deep part of ourselves, like the deep waters of a pool, then there is no depth inside us to believe in)?
That there is truth, things that fundamentally matter
Here are a few ideas. When something real happens to us, when we want to cut the crap, to find out something that matters to us – why do I screw up relationships? What can I do about these nightmares? Am I going mad? – we begin to talk truth. We begin to listen to things differently. What we say, and what people say to us, takes on a different quality. It is like an alcoholic who finally hits the place of terror and void and despair – they say “Fuck this, what do I do – help”. And they (or we) are in a place where we can hear better that some things just are true, and some are bollocks, or simply inadequate. THEN when someone suggests that a links to b, sometimes, sometimes we can go, “Yes, yes it does”; it is a new link, we have linked something up, and it really matters, it matters like trying to stay above the water in an ocean with a lifejacket. “That is true,” we say, “it’s true.” If we are still a bit detached we may say “That is true, actually.”
So believing in dreams or the unconscious is more about believing in a truth that can help us, believing that there are things that link, and make sense of our disorder.
So, first of all, it is hard to stay with a dream. The whole point is that the thoughts are very, very highly charged – they are SO weird, or SO embarrassing: that is why they come out in dreamland, because the strength of the feelings or their shockingness is too hard to bear during the day: “I took all my clothes off”, “I had sex with …”, “This huge, heavy van fell upside down like a stone.” Or they are peculiar, and the peculiarity is too hard.
And, dreams escape conscious memory like smoke. “I had this dream, it was so powerful, …. oh, I can’t remember it, oh well,” and people get on with their day, and something is out of reach again.
Yes, a little more next time, but if you do want to comment, please anthonybedell91@gmail.com